Persevering with panic in my head...good days and bad.

You are more than welcome in my little safe place!

Pull up a chair and help me BREATHE!

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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Prototype...for Daryl

This post is for Daryl. Plain and simple. One day I will visit NYC, but until then Daryl shares her amazing photos for all of us to enjoy.

A little bit of history:

The Reynolds Building is a 314ft (96m) skyscraper in Winston-Salem, NC. It was completed in 1929 and has 21 floors. When completed as the headquarters of R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, it was the tallest building in the United States south of Baltimore, Maryland, and it won a national architecture award. The building is well known for being the predecessor and prototype for the much larger Empire State Building that was built in 1931 in New York City.

The building was designed, just as the Empire State Building, for the purpose of corporate offices with retail outlets on the first floor. Shreve & Lamb, the architects, were asked for "an effect of conservatism along with attractiveness, but to avoid flashiness." But regarding the result, a 1997 Winston-Salem Journal article said, "city residents could be forgiven for wondering whether the architects followed the directive" because "Gray-brown marble from Missouri, black marble from Belgium and buff-colored marble from France covered the walls and floor. The ceiling was festooned with gold leaves, and the grill work, elevator doors and door frames were bright, gleaming brass." The stock market crash of 1929 hurt the Reynolds Building's leasing business temporarily, but it was more successful than other similar buildings at leasing offices. Its promotional brochure said that the 14th, 15th, and fourth floors were reserved for doctors and dentists, but this might not have been the case. Most of the offices were occupied by organizations related to the tobacco industry, such as railroads, insurance companies, and attorneys.

On November 23, 2009 the Winston-Salem Journal reported that Reynolds American, Inc. put the building up for sale after cutting jobs and moving many offices into the Plaza Building next door. Forsyth County tax records show the Reynolds Building's value as $12.3 million. The building offers 240,000 square feet (22,000 m2) of office space, much of that Class B.

In 2012, Quaintance-Weaver Restaurants and Hotels, which owned the Proximity and O. Henry hotels in nearby Greensboro, were considering plans to turn the building into a luxury hotel for business travelers.

In April of 2012, Debbie ventured downtown and finally took some photos.




Yes mam. There is more around me than hummingbirds and creeks. These were taken with my iPhone while jumping out of car in traffic and having a really damn fine time of it...grinning from ear to ear. When I was growing up, downtown was the only place to go and I've always enjoyed it.

Yes, Daryl...who knew? Well I did, but now you do too.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Chipping and Hacking

My 4 year blog anniversary just passed me by...oh well

I've been remiss on reading blogs lately and I'm sorry for that

Before my ex and I were separated, I started all these remodeling projects around the house. The past few months, I've been chipping away at getting a few/lots of things done around here. It's almost starting to feel like my own house instead of "the house we all used to live in as a family". It's a pretty good feeling.

I've had "Randy", a guy I worked with for awhile doing home remodeling, here off and on for two months. He was low on work and I needed a good but reasonable worker so it worked out well for both of us. Charity both ways LOL

I can't do a whole lot, but a little each day is making a difference. I started the Attic Project like years ago and never got around to going through the stuff. That huge pile is being tackled. My saying is "how do you eat an elephant" "one bite at a time". I can hear Peter Walsh in the back of my head giving me advice on getting rid of stuff. It's working!

I'm trying to sell the camper and you know I just sold the golf cart. Whew. That lake part of my life is over since Rooster turned into a mean old woman. David has mixed emotions, but he can get a camper when he gets married and has kids. Not my job to provide one for him. Right? Yep.

I don't want anything extra to maintain. My house and yard is enough for me.

I actually feel like I'm making some progress on this end as far as moving on. Good days and not so good, but I'm so very, very, very thankful. You won't hear any whining or complaining from me!!

David just got some great news about his job. First, he's going to still be employed at his current location (budget cuts), plus he's taken over the daily operations while his boss tries to manage two hospital public safety departments. Whew. He's going back to Alabama next week for another FEMA class. Notches in the old belt.

He moved into his apartment last August across town and I have yet to visit LOL. His schedule and life just gets in the way. I'm fine with it. All I've ever wanted was for him to stay in the same town, do his thing and I do mine. It's all really good.

Wow. Okay. I can shut up now. This was an unexpected post.

Oh..."hacking". I went to Lowe's yesterday to get a new weed sprayer, wire shelving and a hacksaw blade to cut said shelving. Low and behold and yippee..they cut it for you!! Electric bolt cutter and saved me about a month hahahaha of sawing the darn things! I was so excited I'm sure the guy thought I was crazy. I don't get out much and these little things tickle me to death. Another blessing...

Now I'm done. I love you guys and always keep you in my thoughts and prayers :)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

It Won't Be Long...


 It won't be long and...


They'll be back...


And front!

I'm so glad David is grown. Back when...they didn't have nets. No. You cannot or never jump on a trampoline. You will break your neck.

I then managed to watch 9 years of him playing football and loved every second...go figure.

Friday, February 10, 2012

So Glad...

I'm so glad they didn't shorten Mother to:

 Moth

Or Mo(e)

Aren't you?

Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 Reflections

Last year, we chose a word for the year instead of making resolutions we do not keep.

My word was GIVE...


I'm choosing it again this year and hope to do even more...

Another year filled with so many blessings, the most important seem to be the smallest. A word, a gesture, a smile, just when I need it the most. Sometimes from strangers.

I still have my health, David's doing well, a roof over my head, enough food to eat and loving friends. I truly do not need anything more...

My thoughts and prayers continue every day for you and I wish you the happiest and healthiest New Year possible and may God bless you each and every one.

♥I love you ♥

Friday, November 11, 2011

Veteran's Day


Veteran's Day Prayer

 Dear Lord,
Today we honor our veterans,
worthy men and women
who gave their best
when they were called upon
to serve and protect their country.
We pray that you will bless them, Lord,
for their unselfish service
in the continual struggle
to preserve our freedoms, our safety,
and our country’s heritage, for all of us.
Bless them abundantly
for the hardships they faced,
for the sacrifices they made
for their many different contributions
to America’s victories
over tyranny and oppression.
We respect them, we thank them,
we honor them, we are proud of them,
and we pray that you will watch over
these special people
and bless them with peace and happiness.
In Jesus’ name we pray; Amen.

By Joanna Fuchs

I salute you all...

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Until Next Year Little Birdies...

Most of you have seen these photos on Facebook, but I wanted to put them here as well.

I've grown attached to these little babies and will miss them...constant companions from my kitchen window and out on the deck. I think they have left for the year.  Sigh.





Until next year little birdies ♥

Friday, September 23, 2011

Smiling Friday!


After the day I had yesterday with Rooster's Mom...won't even go into it....

I have some wonderful news about my boy. I can't share it here, but if you leave a comment, I'll email you back.

The boy needs his privacy :)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Oh Brother...


My brother made this barn for our Mom years ago out of wooden coffee stirrers. When she passed away, he gave it to me I brought it to my house. The ladder is about on it's last days. It's actually broken down through the middle and is propped up. Inside, there is a swinging door from the overhang on the right side. He can do most anything he sets his mind to...IF and WHEN he sets it.

He is one of the extremely rare people that can make me "belly laugh" until I almost pee and lose total control. Very dry humor and you never see it coming. One of the things I love the most about him. He gives good hugs. I can tell he loves me a little. LOL

He's very intelligent and extremely creative. He's a pretty darn good guy.

Except when he's not. Very selfish and when he drinks he can be an ass. We all know one of those. I've actually gotten that way back in the days. I can be an ass sober. Rare. But I can.

Anyway, that's about all. LOL. I have nothing going on here. David is fine, happy, healthy. I'm hanging in there. I went to Curves 3 days in a row this week. I'm on a trial and error process to see what's bothering my stomach (has been for years) because it's clearly affecting my breathing. I'm so short waisted and my weight is stuck in my middle. Not much room for the diaphragm to do it's thing!

I'm heading to visit Rooster's Mom today at the assisted living home. She wants me to visit her Mom, but we can't be friends. Go figure. I give up. Charlotte is still reading the blog. People just continue to flabbergast me.

But it is what it is. I'm just thankful. Thankful for all my blessings...so it's okay. :)

Monday, September 12, 2011

Dive Bombing Bug...

Around this time of year, I get just downright tired of mowing even though I ride the mower.

The weather is starting to change and although it's nice out, it's just time to stop. I've tried telling that to the grass/weeds...to no avail.

Last Friday while mowing, I was being attacked by this big bug. First time it's happened and I didn't like it. It even landed on my back and my head! Thank goodness all the kids were at school because I sure yelled, cussed and swatted all over the place. When I mowed near the creek, which scares the heebie jeebies out of me because the sides may collapse at any time due to erosion, IT was determined to get me. Period. And I looked and sounded like the loon I am.

All done with yard and resting on the back deck, I happened to look up and damned if he wasn't staring at me from the fence! My neighbor says it's a cicada. I thought they had come and gone. Maybe he's lost. They were having an air show this weekend and I think he belongs there. I hope he finds his way soon. I didn't kill him this time, but.....


You may embiggen if you dare. I seem to be obsessed with David's camera and zooming.

Any thoughts on what it is?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep...

Throughout the day, inevitably I'll come across something that brings one of you to mind.

Last night, while saying my prayers, each one of you popped up as if I had mental map of the U.S. as I was saying your name. I went North, South, East and West. I don't always do this. Sometimes I lump you all together as in "blog friends or FB friends".

I pray that you have a roof over your head, enough food to eat and good health. I pray God gives you the strength to overcome any struggles you may be facing. I realized this morning, that every single one of us is struggling with something. We may not talk much about it on our blogs...we may just hint at it. A single sentence on Facebook. If we listen carefully, we may hear words that are not spoken.

None of us are alone. We have each other. I hope you all know that and know that I love you. I appreciate your support more than you can ever know.

As I was writing, I thought about how ridiculous the word "struggle" sounds. What a word for something so difficult. Struggle. Thinking of another word...dealing. As in dealing with the cards we are dealt. While I'm at it, I'll take two new ones please. Are ya'll following this? LOL I'm getting lost.

I don't pray for PW. Although I'm sure she is struggling/dealing/handling something.

Maybe a cow.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

TWOsday

Last week I posted on Facebook that when leaving the grocery store, I got into a truck that was not mine. It wasn't locked and I got ALL the way in! I wasn't so much embarrassed as I was thinking I've completely lost my mind. It was parked where I usually park mine. I'm not sure if it was there when I went in or not.

Yesterday, after I had posted my Meanie Monday where I released a bit of pent up anger (which has since been removed but thank you for your advice) I was feeling a tad better and the rain of Lee hadn't arrived yet. I decided I'd sat around and boiled long enough and I loaded the truck with a few things to move to the shed. As I finished unloading and got back into the truck, the sky let loose.

I went to the grocery store with my usual small list. By then the storm had passed and I was focused (unusual) and I purchased my few little things and headed to the parking lot.

I was telling myself, doing great hon, I see just one truck and it's yours. No problem. Put my stuff in the truck and took the cart back to the corral. As I was walking back, a truck pulled in beside me on the driver's side. I gave him a big smile and a wave. I bet he was wondering "do I know her?". I got in the truck giggling and thought "not yet" I need to get a photo of this. I need proof.


What if had I meandered in the fruit or the frozen food aisle or chatted with my favorite cashier?
Timing is everything.

And this isn't even the same truck!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

To A Calmer Day...


Borrowed from David's new camera...a shot he took last year at the beach...

You guys are the best.
Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement, understanding and emails. 
I have my own virtual support group and I love you all! 

Sunday, August 28, 2011

There's A Reason

There's a reason this blog is named Paxie Panicker.

Panic disorder with agoraphobia. Good days and bad.

As long as life is relatively controlled, I seem to do okay. When things stack up, back to back, I get in an entire different frame of mind. Right now is one of them

Things that normally don't bother people, take on an entirely different life with me.

Not making this a long post. I haven't been able to drive to the Doctor in Greensboro (Pulmonologist) in almost 2 years. My brother or his girlfriend have been taking me and I buy them lunch or pay for gas. I'm attempting to go alone tomorrow and I've been a basket case. Even forcing myself to do it will result in a week of trying to calm back down.

Even my weekly relaxing on the float in the pool didn't help. Every time the float hit the side of the pool, I jumped like I had been stuck with a hot poker.

My appointment is at noon tomorrow. I may have to medicate. If you see me on Facebook tomorrow afternoon, you know I made it.

P.S. And it doesn't help when someone tells you "Just MapQuest it and take a right or left". Well shit. I don't live under a rock. Duh.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Happy 25th Birthday David!




Happy 25th Birthday Punkin...

Sigh. Can we do this again?

Love you more than anything in this world and I am so very proud of you!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Curiosity...



Driving me crazy...

My ex and his new wife live in Monroe, NC.

He knows my blog, because in a moment of stupidity, I sent him the link. I really don't mind. He knows me like the back of his hand and also knows I'm crazy.

I just don't fancy the idea of his new wife reading.

My question for you is...are any of you visiting blogs in NC other than mine and then popping over here? Do any of you non-commenters live in Monroe?

Is there any frigging connection to Monroe that you all know about?  Sure hope so.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Which Are You?

Is it best to stay informed of the news and what's going on out there?


Ignore it and stay tucked under the covers...


What ya'll think about the situation?