Persevering with panic in my head...good days and bad.

You are more than welcome in my little safe place!

Pull up a chair and help me BREATHE!

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Yep....there's more...

The life of someone with panic disorder.

Immediate guilt set in after the last post. Thank you God for knowing that I am truly grateful for everything in my life and knowing that I can usually come up with a positive thought rather quickly and just bounce back up. Usually it's the roof over my head, but that's not working too well because it reminds me I need a new roof. I'm am extremely thankful David is back in the area and love having him here. That said. Please forgive me for just a tad more whining. I'm not really wallowing, because I plan to get up and get out and be with smiling people in just a minute.

David left yesterday for Charlotte. He's teaching today and then tomorrow he's heading for Orlando to attend his half brother's wedding. THRILLED for him. Seriously. I know he'll have a great time and needs a vacation. He hasn't seen him in a LONG time, or his other half brother. He has 3.

These half brothers and two grand kids (teens) were part of my life for 20 years. David is going to meet his Dad's first wife, while staying with one of his brothers, his wife, grandkids and his Dad and his 3rd wife. Joyful happy reunion. Isn't that wonderful? All of them.

Someone is missing. Guess who? Whine, wallow, cry. whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I will be riding the pity pot until probably Sunday morning, alternating with good emotions, up down all around. In the end, I will be fine.

All the attendees will then go back to their normal, not talking to him/her, different ways life and David will come home and have to tolerate his Mom some more. Life will be back to normal.

My head knows all this. Getting my heart out of my stomach will take FB, TV, nice sunshine Saturday, decluttering, playing games, visiting blogs, napping, napping, napping, eating, napping, cleaning, napping. Most of all, thanking God for what I DO have and not whining (but once or twice) over what's missing.

Paxie Panicker feels better now.

14 comments:

Donna said...

Awwwww....it's alright sweetie!
Now...Get up and get Out there and enjoy yourself! If I were there, we'd First go to the bookstore for coffee and hen talk! Call a buddy and Get Out of there!
(((((HUG)))))

Daryl said...

big (((((HUG)))) ...

TonjiaT said...

Its Ok, you can whine if you want to!! I totally understand where you are coming from. I was married 21 years to my ex, and even though they are dysfunctional as hell, his family was my family for all of that period of time. Its a weird dynamic to understand that once you arent with your ex, you arent with his family either.....

I have a feeling that David will come back with lots of funny stories, and you two will laugh about things for hours. Do something special for yourself this weekend Debbie!!!! something fun and immoral!!!

SandyCarlson said...

Sending warm wishes and affection your way. Enjoy the peace for a while!

claudia said...

Ew! Manicure, no! Pedicure, Or both! A nice cuppa joe out somewhere with a good book, or just people watching. That'd be my thing. Try to enjoy yourself this weekend. It'll be over soon enough!
Love Ya Girlfriend!

Sally said...

I'm so sorry, Deb. Divorce sucks when it comes to things like this. :(

Hey, David could drop you off here, and you could help me dig up the front yard! Yes? No?

****HUGS*****

joanne said...

napping and eating while riding the pity pot is a very familiar pastime for me. I hate that you go through that too...

Marge said...

Well, I'd love to soend a day with you, chatting, drinking coffee, having lunch, and chatting some more. I have five sons, and I sometimes feel that same way! But I know they all love me and appreciate me, and will eventually get around to spending time with me. Well, one of them needs to okay it with his wife first!!!!

Hope you feel better! Just know I've been there and am sending hugs!

Putz said...

you are so so so normal<>><<>i can understand, although i have no direct experience<><><>,.and there is nothing wrong with sleep<><>go for it baby<><><>

SOUL said...

i know what's wrong -- really. it's been too long since you've called. monkey butt :))
cheer up girlie. lotsa folks love you.
XO

Brenda said...

Everyone has great ideas so I hope you picked one and had fun!

SOUL said...

"you hate me , don't you"
i hope you have a really good day !

Flea said...

It's Monday. I take it you're better now? ;) HUGS

Bluebird49 said...

Not being in your situation, I can't imagine, but I can certainly sympathize! It must be very hard to be an"out-law" when you were family before,and at the very LEAST, an In-law. Sorry you had to miss all that--it's , well, not fair!