On the way out of the grocery store the other day, I thought they charged me too much for the cereal. I went back in to check and there wasn't anyone to help me or the other man standing there with his, what looked to be, 2 year old son.
They couldn't find the little boy's sunglasses. He was upset. The Dad (man) was looking around like they were going to magically appear. The little boy asked his Dad "does she have them?" (me) and he said "no, why would she have them?".
The cashier verified my cereal was correct and I walked back outside, yes, looking for the sunglasses. There they were...in the grocery cart. I retrieved them and walked back in. The man was still looking around and talking to the cashier. They still hadn't fallen magically our of the sky. I walked up and handed the little boy his sunglasses and asked "are these yours?"
For a brief moment, I was his hero. I loved the look in his eyes and miss seeing it. I used to be my son's hero. I got that look when I made everything okay. I remember the love and the feeling I got from having it.
What happened? Where did he go? When did I become a pain in the ass to him and someone to just be tolerated?
I know longer say the right words, do the right thing and I'm definitely not his hero and this just flat out feels like a big kick in the gut.
There are sons out there who jump at the chance to help their Mom and give great big bear hugs. I've seen them somewhere. Was it on TV? Are they not real? A figment of my imagination? It's rare if I see it here. My brother was never that way for my Mom. I was. I think my neighbor up the street has one. I was and am a good Mom. I make excuses for it. He's busy. He's great with others. I see it. He's a wonderful and successful young man. Why does he not like me any more? Am I asking for too much? Am I dreaming? He thinks I'm crazy of course and it's all in my head.
Do you all have one? If so, may I borrow him? Can you throw in a few grand kids too, so I can be their hero?
If I sound miserable today...just wait. There's more.
6 comments:
Oh, I'm sorry Debbie....My son use to be that way too...then I just...Let It Go.
Funny how he started to notice and got nicer...
(((((HUG))))))
(((((((((((((Debbie))))))))))))))) he will come back, I promise. right now his life is so exciting and all about 'him'. As he matures and gets older he will realize that his mom is the most awesome person on earth....
I wish I were there with you, I would come over and bring treats!!
(((((HUGS)))))
deb, my friend... big hugs to you-- but i gotta say -- i know where you lost him. same place i lost mine. puberty land. it's a painful thing. but it happens. some get sweeter -- some just too darn independent.
i miss you- MB
I can send you my 13 year old son. You'll appreciate your own SO much more.
Oh, I want to hug you friend. Your son is an adult now, and he has his world for him to explore. This is the sad moment of parenting. We seemed to have lose ours when they hit puberty stage. But don't worry, he will come back, just as mine did.:-)
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