It's not a big house. It was comfortable with a married couple and one child. Big yard & lots of kids to play with.
Now I'm lost in it. I wander around, notice the things that need taking care of and make a mental note. It surfaces when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Being without a job for almost a year, I've had time to check out every crack and crevice in each room. Not smoking in the house any more has made me feel like the house is filthy, which it's not, but most bedrooms could use painting now.
It's becoming clear that David's getting settled down where he is and is not coming back. At least not in the near future. Every thing in this house that's not attached to a plumbing pipe has been moved more than once. Yes, including the kitchen cabinets. The family room downstairs is where he stays when he visits. Pretty comfy down there to include a gas fireplace, L-shaped sofa and a day bed. He likes it.
I'm seriously thinking of painting his old room and moving in there. I've had that room before, when I gave David the big one. The master bedroom feels cold to me. Lonely and cold. I could pretty much clean that bathroom, the bedroom and close it off. I could use the hall bathroom and share when he comes home. Less cleaning. He leaves it just like he finds it and I thank him for that.
My bed is the same one we purchased when we got married. Actually, I just recently checked with my ex and it's the same mattress! Um...that would be 30 years old. It's even in the same spot. Sometimes, okay, a lot of times, at night I think of all the old times. Memories.
So, this would require painting. In the winter. Money to buy it. Energy. In January, my least favorite month. I'm mulling it over and over and over. I also thought about knitting a scarf. Backing up my hard drive, filling the cracks in the garage floor. I just tightened ALL the bolts on the garage door yesterday. I've become a crack HO. It's too cold.
Isn't January the month people lose their minds? I'm arguing with myself, but not yet to the slapping my face stage. No wait, yes I have done that. I am also trying to keep my mouth shut. I've never been able to before, but you just never know. I'm making that zipper, key motion and it seems to be helping, although I just started it an hour ago.
Oh, health? I'm still breathing, still not smoking inside, walking, praying, yelling, worrying...you know, all the normal stuff. I've cut the ox down to just at night. Doc never said one way or another so I made my own decision. I go back to both Doc's in March.
I'm still thankful and I have re-connected with another best buddy and the other is and will probably remain 1/2 a best friend. And of course....we all have Facebook. You guys are amazing in your support.
And yes, I am STILL thinking about getting a dog. I'm fed up with my company and I could always tell him/her to "go to your room" because I have plenty of them....
23 comments:
i really think you should come to georgia for a week or long weekend or something... If that were available would you come for a few days???
Hi there, my friend. May 2010 bring you many answers...I could use some too.
So glad to see you get rid of that NOVEMEBER post. It was time for an update. Lots on your mind it seems...some good, some ....well really isn't it all good, you are alive, you have a wonderful son, a nice big home and seeminly lots of blessings. It is soooo good to see you posted again. WE need to do more of that huh? ( I do have one over at Girls Just Talking) I like the new background too, I loved the Thanksgiving one too, but this one is so cheery.AND YES, GET THE DOG. But I do realize it is another expense and a huge committment if you want to go anywhere at all. So you will know if it is the rigth thing for YOU. Who knows you better than you. I am so glad to see you back, and sharing your thoughts, you always inspire me.....you don't know that, but you do. I want to go paint some walls. I just might go look at some paint colors. See you again soon at f/b or here in blog land!
Paint, an easy brightener to your day...look for sales, even the ooopppsss pile at Home Depot. I have only one room to paint, the bath, and it will be blue!
The holidays are rough and January is also a rough month for me. I'm not a fan of snow and cold so if I didn't work part-time I probably would just hole up inside until April. It seems like most everything to do with home ownership is overwhelming when you get to be my age and you live alone. I'm hoping to find some handy men who can give me a good price and do a good job on a few things. If you take care of stuff when its a small chore, it doesn't turn into some astronomical expense. Hang in there....only a couple more months and weather-wise things will improve and that always makes everything else improve. Hugs.
Finally! I love the new look, too;) I think you should hold off on the paint until you can have your windows open. Then I think you should seriously go visit Laura. Then you should think about hoppin' a train up here. By then, it will be Springtime, you will be well, and you will have found an awesome new career! Seriously...come visit!
Oh Man! I dislike January too. After all the hooplah of the holidays, etc., etc. Except ours was more of a blah blah holiday. But all the same, all the stuff going on and then january hits...NOTHING!I'm bumbling around here too. There are other people here, but they are never home, or I don't want to speak to them...I don't know what is worse!I picked up a washing maching valve today, so I have to put that in my next weekend. (can't rush into this stuff you know) Then maybe my garaage floor will stay dry and I can go in there and clean up. I still need to get the roof replaced. My dad is waiting on that, I guess it's the money thing and it's not the house he lives in. I wish I had the money to take care of it myself.I'm glad you posted. It is always good to hear form you. I never get to F/B unless someone writes on my wall or requests me to do something and then I get so lost over there I just shut it down. Please come back here more often!I miss you!!!!!Love Ya Girl!
I love seeing you here this morning, Debbie! Your background is beautiful and one of HOPE! :)That's a great picture of David; he sure is a handsome one. You make me realize how MUCH I need to do around here, someday! :)Take care; I'll see u on F/B and thanks so very, very much for your support. I love u for it. ((hugs))
Hey, its me stopping by.
Yes you absolutely have to get a dog. My dogs have taken away the empty feeling of not having my children here. They become your children and they keep you busy taking care of them and their routine just like kids. They love you unconditionally and are there for you always. You won't be sorry I promise.That big ole house could use a doggie running around in it.A crack ho huh? You are so funny!You say you are still not smoking in the house? I don't smoke in the house either so I spend MOST of my time outside! I quit for 3 months and hated every freaking minute so here I am smoking again. I have smoked for 47 years! It is part of me. I have tried Chantex, the patch, the gum...the patch does take away the craving but it is the habit that is set in your mind and I am certain that it is bad. I will try to quit again someday. So having said that keep up the good work my friend. It is a VERY hard thing to quit.I am glad to see you blogging again. I quit Farmtown awhile back but will probably stay on Farmville just to escape at times. It is a total waste of time.HugsPatti
you need a vacation... i heard soul does too-- hahahshe loves the monkey by the way :))take it easy - you're bein too hard on yourself.hugs
shell shocked is a good word for how i feel today...Thanks for being here... I do believe i feel going back to bed is in order for now :) Sigh... stress sucks. love ya.
I am embarrassed to say that I am just getting here and reading your post! what kind of friend am I, huh? Facebook has taken over my life.. uggggAnyway, now my 2 cents worth. Paint, change curtains, move furniture and GET A DOG! I cannot tell you how much company my hounds are for me...I have to go change my theme on my blog. LOLhugs!
what's with all the deleted posts? i'm nosey-- i must know- :))anyhow-- i just came by to monkey around and see how you were --what's goinin on?hope your weekend is a good one
is anybody in here?(my word verification was clazi)tryin to tell me i'm lazy or somethin?btw-- have i mentioned the fact that i absolutely despise-- with every fiber of my being, these word verifications?well, i do.and it seems that more and more folks are using them.do you realize how much new glasses are gonna cost me?that's commitment.just so ya know.i hope you are doing well-- and have a happy day-we should go to vegas-yeh i know-- that just kinda came out--i really do need a vacation tho-and when i go places alone-- my family thinks i won't come back :((true storybyeee
Hey!!It's February now; time for an update dontcha' think?HahahahahaLove ya!!
tonija, shame on you face book boo, hey rember the putz, you won't catch me on face book, but shame on me too, cause i lost track of lake girl...from lake boy
WOULD YOU UPDATE YOUR BLOG??? I miss your blogging even if it is just once in a while!
i hate to inform you of this my friend-- but it aint january anymore-- in fact, it's nearing march. yeh. it's true. time to wake up chickie. and hey-- my nephew had a dog wander into his yard--- you still in the market? he has a pic on FB - his name is wesley black-(nephew-not dog) :))it happens to be a pit bull. yeh i know. but it isn't mean. 'it' - he didn't specify the sex. it, is starving- literally skin and bones-- so that, and the breed - is really two strikes against the poor doggy already. nephew lives in jax florida--you interested?whoa buddy- slow your roll-- in the dog-- not the nephew-- altho , they are both pretty cute.anyhow-- either get to me on my blog or facebook. k? oh -- email works too. :))gotta love the electronic age eh?i hope you're havin a good day-you doin laundry? can i bring mine over?laterz bud-
where are you?how are you?hellow???
good to see ya floatin around a little today :))very good happy weekend!hugz
hello my friend.. how are you?i came to feed the monkey. :))
hello again -- i left ya somethin at my plac -- go pick it up :))
Post a Comment