I was planning on posting about my big success yesterday. Unfortunately, something happened this morning that blew that out of the water...
Two years ago, out of the blue, Rooster started ignoring me. It's obviously her way of communicating. I had no clue what was wrong. She even ignored emails. When I get ignored, I get hurt and upset. I don't stop until I get down right nasty. We didn't talk for over 6 months. We wouldn't have then except that I found out her daughter was pregnant and called her to congratulate her. We managed to get somewhat halfway back to normal and I thought especially close when Ashlie lost her baby.
When she was in the Philippines the first time, it was new and we talked a lot. The second time was completely different. She didn't talk to any of us very much. Including her husband and daughter. Since she's been back she's been different. For the past month or two, she doesn't call me. I had to call her. Making an extremely long story short, I'd had enough of the ignoring and wanted to know what I'd done to deserve it. I called before she left for work this morning and told her to please call me back and I meant it.
Well she did. I received a tongue lashing the likes I've never heard in my life. The way she feels about me is all my fault. I've done everything wrong. All my job problems, life problems, David problems, all my relationships are all because I'm a negative person and have to have everything my way. I'm the most negative person she's ever met and she wants to surround herself with positive things and I just don't seem to meet her standards. We exchanged words back and forth and eventually when I saw I was just wasting my good intentions, I told her when I was good enough to be let into her life then let me know. I hung up. I'm in shock.
Do I deserve this? Hell no. Did I deserve it the last time? Hell no. Am I taking it personally? Again...hell no. I get it. We are all under some stress or another. We all have problems. Do we occasionally snap at one another because of it? Maybe.
Three weeks ago, I was in tears on the phone with her and telling her how much I needed my best friend now. She's called me once since then. To come over and have ME get HER pictures up on Craigslist to sell her daughter's camper. I hugged her and told her how much I appreciated her coming over. She's called me one time since and that was for a brief moody snappy talk.
Some of the things she said indicated to me some inferiority and jealousy. She's the type that cannot be wrong. I've challenged her on a couple of things lately and she can't deal with it. I've never done it before.
Of all the stupid idiotic things to break the bank. Effing flood insurance. She's an expert. Me, who has flooded twice from that damn creek, knows nothing. HER homeowner's policy covers floods. Period. It covered when there was too much rain and it LEAKED into her basement. I've spoken to everyone I can think of, half of Atlanta just went through this, it was on CNN...
THE ONLY TIME YOUR HOMEOWNER'S INSURANCE COVERS FLOODS IS IF YOU HAVE A SEPARATE POLICY. PERIOD. But not Rooster's. She won't let it go.
Straw that broke the camel's back.
I'm hurt. I'm mad. I won't be the one calling this time. This may not pass. I've been a wonderful friend to her. If she can do this to me when I'm at one of the lowest points in my life?
Then it's obvious. It's all about her. What goes around will come back and kick you in the ass.
10 comments:
you still go t me debbie, lake girl, you got lake boy....i don't understand caty women, i am just glad i never was one...i find not talking is a great way to get along....talking does not seem to work, when ever i try to explaing things to my wife she snaps at me....it is so cold here in utar....low of 21 this morning...i have stooped covering the tomatoes, just don't care about them any more....love the putz
Hang in there, my friend. There are many good folks out there. Sorry this wasn't one of them.
Now...I only know you over the internets, but I would surely love to know you in person! So far, you seem like the kind of person I would want to hang out with A LOT!YOU don't need the negative person around you.Of course, you want a job, of course you miss your son, of course things go wrong in our lives! A friend would be a person who would be there through all those things and more and then come back for the fun times!I love you friend!
Hang in there baby. We're all right here inside your computer! Hope Rooster can get some help. She needs it. By the way, when I lived at the beach, I had great flood insurance through USAA....
I'm so sorry, Debbie. I know that hurts a lot. Hang in there, and don't give up on all people because of one. (((hugs)))
Wow...I am soooo sorry this happened to you and believe me, I do know how you feel. My very best friend of 30-some years did it to me. Plus she even stole from me. I never understood it back then (20 yrs ago) and I still don't understand it to this day. I think some women go through horrid personality changes during menopause that make them wack-jobs. Chin up girl...keep smilin'. Don't let this experience make you bitter and suspicious. Most of all don't let anyone walk on your heart like that. There are still lots of good people out there. Big hugs!
holy crap-- i am really sorry about your 'rooster'. but omG how i can relate. just not here. i do wonder though -- if your rooster-- might not be the same person i have had 'problems with'. that's an understatement ... it's just early to find a better word right now.ugh, some peoples kids.ya know-- some people just don't know what they have-- til it's gone.i finally made the break. i can't be hurt bein played like a yo yo anymore-- nor can i be made to believe that it really IS all my fault.i can apologize all day long-- but when it is not reciprocated??? it is not a healthy relationship. i'd rather not have that friend. if that means no friends-- so be it. sorry for my rant-- but believe me-- you are not in any way-- wrong , all of the time. that is not possible. the rooster is a control freak, and feeds off of the control you give her.take it back. you will feel loads better--- after a while.that's just what i have learned. that's my experience-- i'm not spewing bs here.anyhow---- i just came by to let you know i finished the video etc. sorry you came at a bad time.. didn't mean to bore you :((that's ok-- i can't see either :))have a great day-- and the best thing to do in your situation?? "drop the rock"that's what my sis says.let it go-it's not your fault.stop dwelling on it-- and rooster will be forced to face her responsibility in this.big ole redneck hugs to you
hugs.... you have me too :) and pain is pain no matter how it is qualified... more hugs Love ya :)
Debbie, Sorry I missed this post. I wantd you to know that I think adults are able to have different opinions and still be friends. Adults do not have to be right all the time. Adults do not let friendships fail because of a difference of opinion. I am your friend and I am an adult.
Lost my best friend in the world over her stupid husband! how's that for a bell ringer. He was such an ass and treated her badly and when he turned on me I had to walk away.... I miss her terribly...Our kids grew up together and now we have our kids getting married and we haven't seen each other in years.... Broke my heart. Maybe rooster is having a bad day, week, month.... I had a sister in law turn on me this month too.... told me everything in the family was my fault and i cause all the problems....thank goodness she live an hour away and only comes up here every other weekend. My husband was furious with her for what she would say and email to me....vicious things, so we had to block her form the emails, and even block her from our phone calls too! So I can feel your pain....hopefully it will get better. Somewhere I read that each encounter we have with a person or a relationship is for a reason. If I can find it I will send it along..... Take care of yourself !
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