After reading and commenting on blog posts this morning, it came to my attention I am sounding sad and depressed. This is not me. "Where is Debbie?"
David's doing great in his new environment and I'm extremely proud of him. I just wish he was doing it closer and then I back up and thank God he's not like out in California or Japan or somewhere and I slap myself back to being okay. I miss the hell out of him, but it's his time and his journey. He's home this weekend and I've hugged him to pieces and he took me out to lunch yesterday and we've had lots of conversation (thank you kid!) which I am so craving from him. He's moving up in his career so fast, it's making my head spin. I stare in wonder and enjoy watching him grow, right before my eyes. Big smile.
He's working Thanksgiving till lunch and then going to his Dad's for dinner and back to work Friday. I understand. Guess what? No rest for Commissary Lady. I'm also working Thanksgiving. Yes, the jail birds cannot miss their snacks! We are working Thursday in order to be off Friday for a long weekend. I'll work till about 1 and then head to Rooster's for dinner with her big family. David and I will send phone and text hugs and be thankful we're alive and well.
Maybe I will purchase "Twighlight" and participate in Mama's Book Club and get in some reading over the 3 day weekend! I can also go back over to Rooster's and hang out with them. I can sleep and rest my hurting heel on my right foot. I can blog...lol...I know, I've been absent. I can watch movies. I have no problem entertaining myself.
This sadness is just part of a life adjustment. The empty nest crap and not necessarily being needed by anyone. I look around the house and just sigh. Now what?
The jail is not the happiest atmosphere to be working in, but we are still having fun. It is interesting too. I'm developing aches and pains and AGAIN say I need to work out. I'm getting tired of hearing myself say it and not doing it. I found out I can work out at the jail in the Officer's exercise room for free, but will I have the energy after standing 6 hours? Will give it some thought. I've thought of starting Yoga or doing Curves. I need more than the treadmill. I need to move all parts or I fear they may become permanently stuck and not work.
This too shall pass and I'll be fine. Bear with me. I'm ranting at things that normally don't bother me and crying at things and just up and down emotions. Just like everyone else goes through. I'm trying to find something to get excited about, other than just being thankful I'm healthy and alive. A hobby? Pet? I KNOW I need a pet. Period. Something other than "just going through the motions". I drug all my scrapbooking/photos stuff out. It's in "there". I could literally spread out all over the house and it wouldn't matter. I just need energy and motivation.
Can you direct me to that site where I can order online?
10 comments:
Hey Missy--you are a human. Don't be so hard on yourself. This is a HUGE transition for you, and you need to just be for a while. Yoga is good, though, I am going to start it again myself. Check your email. I have an extra copy of Twilight.Take care, I am going to need you when my nest empties.
It would definitely be difficult to "work out" after being on your feet for six hours! And, I don't suppose that would be the most fun place to stay; I'd imagine you're anxious after the shift to "be out" of there! :)Life's journey is hard sometimes, and I can recall the empty nest vividly. Like you, though, I was glad my daughter wasn't in a far away land; close enough to keep contact regularly. Take care, Debbie. ((HUGS))
I know how you feel. I have two of my girls here, the third one will be home Thursday. She's been gone for five months and guess who I miss the most?!? I have been pine-ing for her ever since she left...not the other two! (Of course, because they are here!) I have all these plans for when YD gets home. Lots of yard work and fixing stuff around the house and all that fun stuff. I could not make myself do a lot of things while she's been gone...she is my "David". I have missed my stitching, I read only when I am in a waiting room or something. The only reason I bake is because we need the breads and breakfast foods. (and yes I would bake if I was alone, cause I still need the goods)Hang in there, I know it's hard, but we do make it through these tough times.
Hey you, Soul Sistah #1 here to commisserate with you since you did such a good job over at my place...BWAHAHAHA! Talk about a whole blog post for a comment...I invented it, so settle in and read :).Yes, Yes, and Yes on "Twilight" and MPM's book club--I CANNOT WAIT FOR THAT. I've wanted to do a book club thing for so long and, hey, it's MPM--fun, guaranteed. You'll love "Twilight"--you'll love it. We'll have a good time!I've been thinking about Curves, too. Except, knowing me, I'd just go there and make friends with someone to go out for pie and coffee with after working out--BWA! I hear yoga is amazing, and as for the free workout room at the jail? YEAH, BABY! You will do it...once the seed is planted in your head, it's just a matter of time.The thing I can say for sure, 100% guaranteed is that you need to get a pet. Seriously, Deb, go today. As we "speak" Nancy just hopped up on the couch to join me and Frank should be along soon because he's happiest when he's bugging her. And if you get a dog, you will get exercise walking him/her, going to the park and playing with him/her, etc. Please, Deb, get that pet...you KNOW that I KNOW what the "empty" place feels like. Everybody needs at least one other breathing being in their house. There will be someone there who needs you, and who greets you at the door when you come home. What I've always said about Frank and Nancy is, theirs are the first faces I see in the morning and the last faces I see at night. They are important to me. And that is good.Plus, you always have us. We're gonna be fine. We always are.
Oh man, I am so sorry you have to work on Thanksgiving. I really have a hard time with that for your sake. We will be going to my parents, she promises to keep it simple...yeah right.I don't know if missing our kids ever stops, you adjust,but it never stops. I hope you all get some time together often. Hugs to you my friend.
I think about you often and can almost feel your sadness and your down in the dumps feelings right through your blog.... it reminds me of the Ghostbusters movie, where the whole city was sad and angry and mad, and it was because of the slime in the sewer and the slime kept growing because it was feeding off the negativity. The Ghostbusters turned it around by using positive feelings and thoughts. That's where we need to get you...in the positive feeling areas...freinds, family, hobbies, workouts... I am lucky enough to have a recreation center close by, and while I am not a real big fan of weight machines, I do go to the pool 3/4 time a week. It has a current pool that I can do walking laps in and then I have a neoprene float collar that I wear in the deep end and just float my problems away. It is hard to motivate sometimes. I do better if i take the time to do it early, sometimes at 6am before I start my day, other times I find myself at the pool at 7/8PM and take my jammies with me so after my shower , I scurry home and jump into bed! I think part of your darkside may be coming from the time change and the shorter days....seasonal affliction... get as much sun as you can!! Hopefully you have more sun than we have had here in Ohio.All we have had is cloud, rain and SNOW!!! Can you believe it!Fortunately...I am leaving for Charlotte NC to visit friends and then to the Outer Banks on Thursday for 10 days....the weather forcast does not say that it will be really warm, but there is sunshine .... and a bad day at the beach is better than a bad day in Ohio! Hope you get some sunshine smiles into your life.... Be proud of David...it sounds like you raised him to be a strong, independent young man....this is what your lifes work was all about, so that the young ones CAN leave the nest and thrive.... I know it was hard when the oldest son left home, but it is gooing to be harder when the younger one leaves me, but I know I gave them both all the knowlegde and confidence I could, and they are doing great. Keep your head up girl!
I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I can imagine how it must feel to have an empty nest - I fear that day and don't look forward to it at all!!I hope you have a good week - Kellan
Sending only positive thoughts/vibs your way, girl, only the good. Take care of YOU!
Buying gifts for ME will help fill the void and bring you oodles of enjoyment. It's a proven fact. Go shopping. Buy for Hallie. Feel better!!Hallie :)
you have been on my mind lately, Debbie. I am sending you positive thoughts to help you get through the holidays, especially with David in his new home.Girl, you need a pet. seriously. Frankie would like to recommend a miniature doxie. The best breed out there!Why do you have to work on holidays just so the inmates can get their goodies? I say the employees should have the day off and the inmates who are INCARCERATED should get NO goodies. after all, they are jailed as punishment...Of course, I subscribe to the bread and water theory of handling jailbirds. LOLtake care, I am thinking about you.
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