After 53 years avoiding it, I've finally volunteered to just go and get it over with. I'm biting the bullet (pun intended) and plunging into the world of crime and all it's insanity. I don't think I can even list or even remember all the various jobs I've had, which many included sitting at a computer, or asking someone what they'd like to drink, or trying to find an address. This however, has got to top the list of "you're doing what?" I'm even shaking MY head at this one. But folks, I was totally caught off guard (pun intended) at the lack of available jobs out there! Geez! Usually, when my funds end and I'm ready to go back, I can just pick and choose and start work. Seriously, the choices were not there. I applied for this one online, was called the next day, interviewed last week, and after a battery (pun) of security checks, I will start training on the 29th of June at the location pictured above.
I did not know there was a Commissary in the Detention Center and there were people who manned it, stocked it and delivered stuff ordered to the prison cells. There is a Commissary Manager, a F/T lady, an accounting stuff lady and then a P/T person who if all goes right will be me. At all times I will be safe and under the protection of a Corrections Officer, so don't worry. I'm doing enough of that for all of us. David spouted out his objections, then after consideration and pondering, decided after all the prisoners said shocking gross things and exposed themselves to me, they would eventually call me "Miss Debbie" and life would be good.
Yes, in the interview, I was warned/informed and asked if I was claustrophobic. I don't know if having LOCKED DOORS close behind me bothers me, because I've never had that experience, sir. But, for what you're going to pay me and the hours I'll work (8-1)(7-12)? I'll give this shit a good try! Besides, if someone shows me a really BIG one, I can blog about it and freak Hallie out!
I've gone from Executive Assistant to VP to Jail Mama and I could care less. I want an interesting place of employment (double-check) and one with no DRAMA (check) and male availability (triple-check)....law enforcement officers, one I don't sit on my butt and type (check) and one I may get a little exercise (double-check). Now, when I read about a guy arrested for murder....I can go say howdy and "Here's your order". I just hope I'll still be able to nap when I come home from my work in crime. Oh, and they give me a red shirt to wear! Khaki's and comfortable shoes round out the outfit. All money earned will go toward bills and not clothes!
Everyone keep their fingers crossed. I need this job. Lisa J, our retired cop blogger, feel free to express your opinion LOL. I look forward to your input. Well, I look forward to all comments all the time, so ya'll just tell me if you think I've lost my mind!
27 comments:
Oh Deb!!You think blogging about seeing a "big one" will freak me out? I laugh in your face at that logic!!HA HA HA HA!!!! :)I double dog dare you to take pics of these "alleged" big ones and then blog about them!!Oh and btw, I worked for 6 years with kids with severe behavior issues in a locked facility. I may not have seen "big ones" (they were kiddos) but I had buckets of feces thrown at me, urine aimed at me and body parts flashed at me all the time!! And then we had to restrain the little doobies when they got really bad!At least your crew will have bars between you and them!! Sounds like a piece of cake!!COngrats on the new job - I'm sure you'll be the best MISS DEBBIE that jailhouse has ever seen!!Hallie :)
WOW! I am impressed with your bravery....and think of all the material you're going to have to write about. Be safe! (I am going to write you later when I figure out my NC deets. Thanks for the hotel info!)
Wow, that's a nice, big, jail/prison? Almost looks like a hotel on the outside doesn't it?My son is a correctional officer and works for the Arkansas State Prison system. He's their kennel Lt. so it's a calmer position that others he'd had prior to promotions. He sure has some wild stories to tell.
Wow, just think of all the great blogging material you'll get! Maybe you should write chapter and do a book, LOL!
BWAHAHAHA...Miss Deb, you are SO GONNA ROCK THIS JOB! Here is the way I see it. If anyone has the personality to take this on, it is you. I'm thinking that since you're the chick that brings around their goodies, they might just be a little nicer to you. Which, in prison world means they'll just show you their big ones rather than hurling bodily fluids and such. I, for one, am gonna need to see pix of the big ones. Or, if we really want to laugh, the eeney teeney ones. Nothing makes me laugh quite like an eeney teeney weeney :). Just don't go getting yourself romantically involved with one of your customers. I don't wanna be hearing about you on America's Most Wanted, where John Walsh is looking for Miss Debbie who is on the run with Darrold, after having helped him bust out of the big house! BWAHAHAHA...In all seriousness, Deb, congrats. You will do great; I mean that about you being the one I would most expect could handle this. I just cannot wait for the stories. And those are some seriously GOOD work hours! YAY, DEB!
Kim, you've got me almost peeing in my pants and spitting coffee! Oh gosh you are friggin hillarious!
Start keeping a daily journal cause you could sell a book about your experience with the talent you have for humor!One summer in college I worked at a mental hospital in housekeeping. The one time I had to go to the ward where they held murderers and hear those doors lock behind me was frightening and exciting at the same time. If you have an officer you'll be fine.I'm betting with David that Miss Debbie will be the norm.Oh the stories - can hardly wait!
Debbie, all I can do is wish you the best and congrats on the job! I'm sure you'll do well. :)
Congrats! One of my former students works in a prison now. Oh the stories she can tell! Can't wait ot hear some of yours! :)
Well, cool, a job. I like the hours! I am thinking this could be an interesting job. I know you will do well, and there's so much protection, so, I'm thinking you will be fine! Can't wait for the stories to begin!
congrats on the new job! I am thinking your experience working in a detention facility isnt going to be too much different than mine working with drunks in the ER! LOLOLmake the best of it and dont forget to laugh... a lot
Very nice! It has been a crazy weekend. But I am back. Have a great day!
Ummm, Miss Debbie? I just had to come back and ask if your future employers are aware about this "Empty Bed Tonight" ad you have running on your blog??? I mean, "no strings, no commitment, no games, find a girl now--completely free" may sound good for the short-term. But I'm sort of seeing is as the first step on the pathway to America's Most Wanted. And I'm very concerned. I mean, really, Miss Debbie? How did Google choose YOU to advertise FREE GIRLS WITH NO STRINGS AND SUCH? Are you in the process, as we speak, of setting up some sort of illicit sex ring, using all of those poor, innocent, wrongly-accused prisoners of yours to do your dirty work? Say it isn't so, Miss Debbie. REPENT! BWAHAHAHA!You should never encourage me :). Seriously, what's up with that funky ad???
HAHAHA, it appears the ad is gone. But you don't fool me one bit, Miss Debbie! You must still REPENT. BWAHAHAHAHA...Dimples is my truck, you goof! Ya know, like from hail? Hail leaves little dimples all over your vehicle? I first called it this in Saturday's post. Apparently, you missed that one??? HA!
Congratulations, Debbie! I look forward to reading your stories from the big house.
Way cool position! You've trumped my new job working in a mental hospital! Congratulations. :)
So, I guess you will have a new mailbox soon...good luck..Do you watch Saving Grace on TNT? She is one tough cookie..it's a good show and may be a good outlet...thanks for the visit Debbie...Hope you are enjoying the summer:)
Good luck, you are a brave woman.
You MUST tell us all about your new job! (And congratulations, BTW!) Sounds like it will be interesting and never boring, if nothing else. That clothing bit...what a great perk!
How come Lisa has not come by and given her two cents about this job? I wanna know that my Debbie is going to be safe. Kim-D is hilarious about you meeting the man of your dreams in the big house. I agree that if anyone can handle them it would be you. They have to know that they won;t get the goods if they show you their goods!!
Yes, where is my dear friend Lisa?I thought for sure she'd comment LOL!Thank you all for your faith in me!
I have tried to comment two times now. I will give it another try. I am checking to see if this goes through before I write my novel again. so if this gets posted I will be writing! I have even tried to send you an email!!!
Ok, here goes for the 4th time...HAVE YOU LOST YOUR EVER LIVIN' MIND? Just kidding. I don't know if it is truly a place to meet men,either law enforcement or residents, look for something else will you? Go for the doctor, lawyer kind, rather than law breaker, or enforcer. I think you will be pretty safe, but you will be an a not good enviroment. I would be willing to bet not one of those guys in there are guilty. If you don't believe me, just ask them!!!! And they will have found God. God is defenitly in prison, for they all find Him and then leave Him there when they get out!!!!I guess if you are dead set on doing this my main caution will be this....listen to me good. If they show you a big one, or a teeny weenie, point, laugh and walk away!!!!Seriouly, please do not get involved with any of them. They are smooth talkers, will lie while looking you in the eyes, and women tend to fall for stuff like that. PLEASE promise me you won't even think about liking any of them. If they are good enough to get hooked up with, do it one year after they are out and got life going good for them. Make it your policy to not get personally involved. They have a way of talking good people into doing bad things for them. I have seen it happen NUMEROUS times, please heed my warning. Good people make bad choices, it can happen to anyone. That is why our prisons are full. By the way, are you working at a prison or county facility? Be careful, follow the rules, and don't lose yourself for any of them!!!!Ok, is that a good enough reply for you? If you want to talk more, e-mail me!
For some reason I am having a terrible time with commenting on your blog. Every time it seems it goes twice or not at all. If you know what is up with that let me know!!!
Lisa, you silly, I had to delete one of your many tries LOL!Hon, I'm not even thinking of dating a prisoner...lawdy mercy NO! But maybe there will even be some good looking lawyers visiting them since it is just a Detention Center NOT a prison :) And what's wrong with COPS??? Thank you visiting and FINALLY commenting..hey didn't you just get award that mentioned something about brilliant LOL LOL!
First, are you laughing because of my BRILIANT blog award!!! Yeah, me too, brilliant would not be a word that I would use to describe my blogging huh?Secondly, don't date COPS. They are sick sick people. Most of their marriages end in divorce (mine included) That profession has one of the highest divorce rate of all professions. And I am telling you, many of those men in jail are really convincing. Just trust me on this. I myself have been caught up in their stories more than once. And you will be around them more often and a lot closer contact. So just a word of caution. They will try you, it is just what they do! You will be a new challenge to them. A mission if you will. So just be "on guard" . But I think your safety will be fine, I don't worry about that. Besides, you can smack them upside their head to get their attention. Put a Michelle move on them and they will never see it coming!!!!
Congratulations, MISS DEBBIE!Knock em out Jailhouse Momma!
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