Public speaking is something I have avoided my entire adult life. Even in high school, I took a zero on a book report because I would not present it aloud in front of the class. This fear became increasingly difficult when I was in the Air Force. I had one supervisor that made it his goal in life for me to get over it. Needless to say, after not being able to lure me out of the bathroom from throwing up a few times, he gave in. I even avoided going to NCO Leadership School because I knew I would have to make speeches.
I was great in staff meetings and never miss the opportunity to run my mouth. I'm not shy. It was the STANDING UP and being the center of attention that brought me to my shaking knees.
The Town Council meeting about storm water was last night. I had attended before and when it came time for the public hearing, I just stood up, said I don't do podiums and I blurted out my case while holding on to the chair in front of me. No notes, nothing, just opened mouth. This is dangerous considering how much anger and resentment I have about this crap!
I had previously given a CD with about 60 pictures of this ongoing mess to the Storm Water Committee, and our Storm Water Manager had been out taking more this last flood. The meeting was scheduled for 7:00. I had just about talked myself out of even going. At 5:30 I started reading our Village web site and started feeling the "I shouldn't have to put up with this shit" building. I knew from last time, I barely maintained my cool, so I better type something up and READ IT. Paper in hand, I ran out the door at 6:45. Got there, signed up to speak and my legs were shaking like I'd just run a marathon.
My neighbor and her hubby spoke and they did a great job. Lori even broke down into tears talking about her children's fear. My turn. I tried my don't do podiums and the new Mayor said he appreciated that but we'd like you to please come up. Well then I REALLY became the center of attention and the 25-30 people were laughing...not really at me...but because I know they secretly have the same damn fear! Well, damned if I didn't do just friggin fine and then the Mayor said Ms. Angel you did a fine job and I said you couldn't see my legs shaking! A few people even clapped for God's sake! I had these damn Crocs on and am so thrilled I didn't fall on my face on the way back to my chair. Zoom Zoom...the ordinance passed and now we wait and see what happens.
As I was driving home, I was just on cloud nine. I was yelling I did it, I did it. Damn you podium! Yeah me! I came down the hill and saw David was not home and I so wanted to tell someone, anyone, call the local news, do an iReport, etc. It hit me that after 2 months, David won't be here so I pretended to just be proud of myself alone. Yes, just talking away out loud and patting myself on the back. House was about to come on so that helped!
My ex knows of my fear but can't tell him. My Mom knew. My BF is busy moving and wouldn't grasp the significance, I'd get my bro's answering machine, so I convinced myself, even if David is gone, I will still be able later on down the line to IM him or call. I'll be okay, just sit here and bask in my glory and grin like an idiot at House, who last night was having a focusing problem. Ah....I hear the door....David's home! Talk talk talk...Mom I'm so proud of you! :)
Yes, that's my behind peeking out to see what's coming!
David, better move your truck...
The floating trash can...
Streetlight across the street reflection in our new lake!
Notice how HIGH up on my River Birch?
Yes, the water was almost up to the BOTTOM LIMBS of this tree!
9 comments:
YOU. GO. GIRL. I am screaming for you! Great Job. By the way, nice little leg there, mama!
Uhh? You ever start thinking exactly how you're going to post something as soon as you hit the comments button, then feel that super quick deflation when it pulls up.. and your comment was taken? Man, oh man. Well, hell.YOU. GO. GIRL!!! Repetition in this matter is vital, because it's how I felt when reading your post. I am so kick ass proud of you for conquering that fear when you least expected it!Too bad you're Debbie in NC and not Debbie in PA. I so would have joined you for a kickin' celebration of such a momentous occasion!!
WTG DEBBIE!!!!!! I am so excited for you. Did you picture them naked? Never worked for me either. See, if you would have had my number you could have called me. We are so proud of you.
Good that you overxame your fear.
WAHOO!!! way to kick butt girl! I am one of those weird people who love to speak in public. I wasnt always so comfortable at the podium, it all started when I was a Sr in High School and we qualified for state championships in cross-ex debate. Anway, I digress. Your flooding problem is huge, I am so amazed at how high that water was.Way to face the podium!
I am so proud of you! I try to conquer my fears too. It has been flooding where I live and it is scary. I am so sick of this rain. I pray it stops for a little while. Sending you love, Nita
YEAH DEBBIE!I hope they follow up soon for you.The pictures are amazing - I would not want to have to think about that every time it stormed!Remember we're all here for you - just type...
first, congrats on your speaking, and they even listened! Second, if that water was up to your lower branch, then I feel really sorry for the people across the street from you. The little house must have been facing some pretty bad water too. But...you all sure do have some pretty green yards around there!
Debbie, I have been out of town a lot this week, so am way late here, but I read back through all your posts looking for this one. This is fabulous news all around, and I am so glad you stood up and said what needed to be said. Congratulations!
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