The bee is lost...like me
Is the moon in some weird phase or something? I thought the MAX Paxil dosage had my nerves somewhat under control and today? All friggin out of whack. I know the Paxil is effecting my head. It's supposed to. But geesh, I can't remember anything.
David came home late Friday night, we talked for about an hour and out he went. I went to yard sales with Rooster (didn't purchase one thing) and then Sam's (good deal on Ensure) and then we ate lunch at IHOP. Split the huge meal and really saved money. I came home and David was not here. I called him and he said he'd be back in a little while. I took a nap and then he was home and then he left to go back to Charlotte and took a friend with him. Here less than 24 hours. Damn.
However, due to recent events, I'm thankful for ANY time with him. I just miss him. I'm just damn lonely. It's been almost 2 months since I sent out the Disability paperwork and just checking the mail makes my legs shake. I keep saying "APPROVED" "God is my lawyer". Dear God I hope so.
I thought I had lost my keys and panicked. I dug through trash and on the 3rd time looking in my purse, they were there. I went and did errands and then came home and cried like a baby. It has been building up. I don't cry often enough.
I miss going to Curves, but can't afford the payment right now. It was really helping too and I felt better. Dust has gathered on the treadmill. (Well, everywhere for that matter) There's piles of papers that need to be filed. I did mail in my rebate for my new phone (cheap LG Cosmos) and I washed a window. Yes. One. My motivation goes in spurts.
I'm so proud of MPM for running that 1/2 marathon! I'll need a nap every day to recover from just thinking about HER doing it and I have phantom knee pain too!
I really do think of ya'll every day. Seriously. Until we meet again....love ya'll!
11 comments:
Awwww. Baby! Sending you lots of hugs. And if you'd take an Advil, my knees would be very happy;) I wish we were closer. I'd come take you for a nice long walk. xoxo, Lauren
Debbie, do you think it is a lot of emotion from CJ's death or just not seeing YOUR son, or a combination of both? Sometimes I feel that way too, just need a good cry and I AM NOT A CRIER EITHER. I am so sorry that you are down, maybe the weather is partly to blame, don't know what to blame it on! But do know that I am thinking of you and wishing you a better day tomorrow.
I'm glad you got to see David if even for a little while.I know that lifts your spirit yet it makes you long for more time with him. I take a couple of anti-depressants and I think at one time it was Paxil. Have taking them so long, can't remember.Pray everyday about the disability; hang in there girl. Love ya!!
It'll get better...I promise!
If I lived closer to ya I'd probably pester you so much you wish you had alone time. I am soory that you are feeling down.In my down-ness I am thinking I was secretly wishing for a better spring after that horrible winter and I got let down. Then after that horrible winter, E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. is blooming and apparently I am allergic to it ALL. I can't get well enough to get up any energy, so I know exactly how you feel.Sorry to go on so long. I just feel bad for you. I wish I could do something a little more to cheer you up.We're here for you...Love Ya Girl!
Hang in there, tomorrow is a new day. It really is.
Yeah... what they all said...love n hugs. ME
you know, i could just blog in your box all day -- but i don't wanna do that. i really hate talkin on the phone too tho-- but maybe, perhaps, if i had your phone number -- i just might call ya up, and harass you for a little while. even tho, i'm not a phone fan. i'm not a great texter, but i can manage well enough, if you're up for that? you could email your cell number?anyhow-- first of all? about the disability thing? it's only been a couple months-- time to get off those eggshells.. give it a good 3 more months before expecting a single thing in the mail. and that may be gettin a bit ahead of things. really. you know the way the government is.. hurry up-- and wait. there are thousands of people in line ahead of you-- this could take up to or more than a year. you know that right? and hey-- if you have God as your lawyer? no worries. chillax, but be really, be as patient as you can. just don't pray for patience, God has funny ways of teaching lessons in that area.oh geesh-- and paxil? that is the devil !! how much weight have you gained? i hope it's worth it. i'm surprised you drink ensure while taking paxil. i gained 50 whopping pounds on that med-- in 30 days ! of course i was also on depakote-- also the devil. but seriously. hmm. i claim them both as allergies now. good medicine - perhaps-- but i would rather not add to my depression.btw-- boost is much more tasty than ensure. if ya gotta drink the stuff, may as well have the better tasting one. right? i drink vanilla boost. best one i've tried . just so ya know.so anyhow-- look what i have gone and done-- i blogged in your box-- and didn't mean to.i hope ya feel better soon. i understand your feelings. i really do. and you know-- if i was closer-- you'd be in some big trouble. you'd prolly in fact - throw me in the damn creek !hugs my friend -- this too shall pass.my monkey looked a little hungry - so he came to visit at my place-- we can share him, right. he would never leave you for good. :))he really does look better now that you been feedin him more :))byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesit outside and get some sun today-
I think the events of the past 2 weeks have affected us all. Its scary.. give that boy of yours a big hug the next time you see him and tell him to visit with his mom! LOLGood luck with the Paxil Debbie, my husband has taken it for years, it is a really good medication.And if all else fails, keep telling yourself. "this too shall pass"...
hey-- me again-- here to bother you-- again :))hey -- it's about the dog. Annie. remember her? i was gonna get her-- from my nephew in Florida. remember? well.. all that fell through.. due to some circumstances here. and a burst of reality. anyhow-- he called me the other day -- she is ready to go. she has had her vet check and shots.. and now she needs a home. he misunderstood me when i said i couldn't take her-- well that-- or he just hoped i changed my mind-- or forgot :))unfortunately, that is not the case. i just can't take her, and it breaks my heart. now he's in a bind, with this dog, and no one to give her to. you know you want her. she's only 2 years old. and beautiful. go to my blog and just LOOK at that face. look into her eyes and fall in love with her like i did, and i will talk to my nephew and he will let ya slide from all the application crap etc, and you will get you a friend for life :))whaddaya say? she's lonely and needs a friend-- like a friend of mine said pretty recently. she'd be much better to have hangin around the place than -- say, ME. bwa hahahahahatime is short --- go look at that baby -- then lemmee know -- asap :) ok?happy happy saturday !
well? what's goinin on in your world lately? feed my monkey lady . ;))have a happy chillin day today hugz
Post a Comment