"What are you going to do?" I've been asked by a few friends when we talk about David moving out and beginning the next stage of his life. The answer varies a great deal depending on the circumstances of the family. Couples of children leaving home, tend to want to travel, redecorate, enjoy the quiet and spend time together. I'm not a couple. It's just me sitting here. The other half of the "couple" for 20 years is down on the other end, where he's moving, with his partner, doing the above.
"I have no clue." I reply. I'm looking at this as David going off to Life Education 101. He's going to be experiencing so many new things and I'm just praying he'll continue to sit down in the kitchen every once in awhile and have a heart to heart with his old Mom. I just love it when he does it. I'm not being nosey or at all critical of anything, I just want to KNOW. He still doesn't get it because he's a young man and it's his business. I get that. David, just give me a few tidbits to keep me going, okay? Throw a few treats out to the one who raised you and loves you more than anything and wants to continue to be a tiny part of your life :)
He starts his new job October 13th. His living arrangements are tentative right now. He's going to just pack a suitcase and head out. He'll be staying with friends to start. I don't plan on doing anything different here because since he's only about 90 miles away, I think he'll be coming up on weekends quite a bit since his friends are all here. (not to mention his GF) Eventually, he'll make new ones, I know. One day at a time, Mom.
This weekend I find myself thinking, "Is there anything heavy I need him to lift or move?" Unusual thinking, I know. He's thinking there'll be time for that later. Inserting a little comment for my brother here, who lives only 7 miles away. "Would I have to PAY you Mike, to help me move something?" Does that make you feel guilty? It should, but it won't. I'm not sure where that came from, but it is always simmering under the surface in my head. Thank God, I can count on Sharon, his GF, if I need anything. God bless her sweet soul.
David probably thinks I'm not even thinking about it. Every time he comes up the stairs, I'm blurting out something related to the Election, the Bail Out, uh, Rescue, or yelling at the TV. I listen to local news to hear about potential customers heading to my Bed & Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner plus snacks. I've won the criminals over with my sweet ways and less and less are complaining. They know I'm on their side and against my pathetic Supervisor. I no longer have to deliver to the evil woman who hurt my baby. Although, I had to go over Ms. O's head. She told me I needed to "face my fears in order to overcome them". WTH? My only fear is that I would HURT HER and be fired or put in a cell. She just reminded me yesterday, she wouldn't be able to leave early because SHE had to deliver to 6D. Well, tough shit Ms. O. Get over it.
This post was supposed to be about the stages of life one goes through. Long story, a little longer. David and I both are are entering another one. Albeit, his more exciting, but if the creek don't rise, maybe I'll be okay too. You betcha!! Wink, Wink, Wink, Wink, Wink.
8 comments:
It is a new stage of life. I don't know, I don't have a clue how it will affect you, or make you feel. The not being a couple thing might make it a little harder on you since you will have to take care of everything yourself. But one thing I do know about you...you are very strong. I think you will get through this with time, certainly not over night. And I do know you have lot of friends that will be here to listen, to help, to be supportive because you...YOU are a good friend to us. And that is what friends do, we try to be there for each other. I hope you will find some happiness, something to make your heart sing once again.....soon. Selfishly, I hope so, for I NEED YOU! You have been my life saver and I thank you for that!
Oh Deb, I cannot even imagine how hard this is for you; well, in a way, I CAN imagine and I can even relate somewhat. Right after Bill died and Todd was going through his divorce, he moved in with me and stayed until he and Lori got married. I was so happy that his life turned happy again, but I also missed him so much when he moved out. Luckily for me, I gained a daughter in his wife, rather than losing a son. All of this to tell you...you just do the best you can do every day. Some days are easier than others, but you get through all of them because what choice do you have.Here's the best part, though. You are not losing him; he's not going to "forget" you. Like you said, he will be visiting on weekends, and he will call you and you will call him. This is HIS time now, but it just might be YOUR time, too. None of us know exactly what the future holds for us, but it could very well be something good!For now, I'm just glad you blogged! We're here for ya...
I know how I am feeling about my YD not being here. I have the other two to keep me company, but I don't miss them! There are times when I wish I had the place to myself and then when they all happen to be off on a weekend or so all at once I want them back!It's hard to say what you will feel and what you will do, but my bet is that you will do fine and you will have those feelings and it will be okay! I get it about wanting to know what David is up to. It's not snooping...I do that with my girls everytime they walk out the door. (Where ya going, who ya going with, who's driving, when ya gonna be back?) Now I just tell them I want to know where they are in case something happens and I have to get a hold of them. Hang in there...we are all here for you!
It really will be ok. Might take a while to get to ok, but it's there for you. Thinking of you, Deb.
I never had a nest, so I can't begin to know what an empty nest is really like. I would recommend that you don't make any radical changes in a hurry. Just let the new chapter ease on in and let yourself get use to it. The holidays are coming up, so it is a great time to think about a little volunteer work. That always helps to take your mind off of your world and focus it elsewhere. It's a BIG step. {hugs}
When my oldest daughter graduated and was leaving for college we also had hosted an exchange student for 10 months that year. I was losing two. I cried for weeks.When the youngest two (they're 13 months apart) finally left home, I was ready to throw a party!You'll find something exciting in this new stage of your life too, just you wait and see.
Debbie, I know this is so hard on you. They grow up too fast and then they leave...I have a feeling that David will be home more than he probably is now. He is going to miss you too!
even though I have the "other half", he is a worka holic and he was never, or is never there when I needed him. I became very self sufficient. I will miss my guys when they leave home for good, but I have girlfirends and a great DIL. I have found a little volunteer work is nice but don't try to over commit. Do something nice for yourself, take a class, learn to knit or something,get a dog or cat. Or like me, I got chickens! they keepme busy and make me laugh. Good luck to you. i think of you often!
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